Today went back APS for Family Nite.. OMG.. It was so darn hot.. Even at night.. Saw all my old friends that still fucking cares.. And those that are just playing around.. Went there with SinYee and her sis then went on to find the teachers.. Saw Mrs Ratna too ! Its weird but I miss her somehow.. I wanna go back primary school.. I wish I never have to go through anything that happen this year.. Seems that even the laughters now are not worth to remember either.. Cause to some people, its just something they wanna put behind their heads.. Well, can't blame them for that but even now I think that I agree with them.. I can't grab on to too many stuff either.. So might as well be me..
Okay, I'm just a useless piece of shit right ? Alot of you are nodding on the inside I know.. For just one year, within one year I can make so many troubles up but they are not yet solved.. I am so great at this ! Yes ! Thats why people are leaving me, every single one of them.. I AM SIMPLY BULLSHIT.. Right ! I am just someone that doesn't deserve anyone.. Well, I'm lucky enough that I still have some that can understand me in some way.. I've seen the coffin too many times.. And I've finally understood the real meaning of it.. And I think, some people too must get a taste of it.. THE FEELING OF BEING IN A ZERO-DEGREE DESERT, THE SWEET TASTE OF BEING ALONE AND LISTENING TO YOUR OWN TEARS, THE FUN OF HATING YOURSELF SO MUCH THAT YOU WANNA DIE AND THE USELESSNESS YOU FEEL WHEN YOU SEE YOURSELF IN THE MIRROR.. LIKE A USELESS PIECE OF CRAP STANDING THERE, STARING AT ITSELF.. HOW SMART..
Coming to secondary school made me realise, no one really cares.. Its really very different from primary school and our emotions are very unstable.. Maybe thats what I have to master.. Control of thoughts and emotions.. Haixx... I don't know lahh... Now I just wanna play my game.. Post 2moto I think.. Byeee
Dionis (!)
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