I figure no one's gonna bother reading my blog so yeah, I'll just blog here for once.
Nowadays, I've been busy, busy and much more busy. Seems like I don't even have time to sleep. I sometimes just wanna sit down and play my guitar or my keyboard. But in actual fact, I can't even touch it. I mean I can but I'll have less than 4 hours of sleep. I'm not gonna live on like this till the end of this year if I continue. I wonder what will happen if I suddenly just collapse due to utter exhaustion. No matter in school or wherever, wonder would anyone realise I'm lying on the floor with my mouth open and a slightly pale face. *Laughs* Hard to say, hard to say. Yeah, I'm pessimistic, so? That's just my way of protecting myself from any realistic harm. Cause' I had enough of it. Once is enough for anyone. ONE TIME, ONE BLOODY TIME AND IT SCAR ME FOR LIFE. *Laughs* Pathetic but true. I sound completely from Facebook right? Cause' I've been holding all this back. I prayed to God, he answer at times, but in reality, I have no idea how am I gonna solve those things right infront of me. Too many problems for me to handle. I thank God for giving me E506 and N410, seriously, but at times I just wanna keep quiet. I see people with more problems to deal with, or simple to say, they have their stuff to solve. I don't want to add oil to their fire, it's kinda a habit. I'm trying to change it but everytime I wanna attempt to do it, my heart aches or I'll start to think would that person think I'm a pest. Unless it's a real issue that I need to talk to someone about, I'll say, or else I'll handle it myself. Seems that my mind is over-powering my abilities. Sad. Anyways, I'll pray for everything to be alright. I'll have faith in God, I'll believe that someone will care for me no matter what and that's God. I'll stay stable, I may not always be strong but I won't break that easily.
Friday, 23 July 2010
Tuesday, 29 June 2010
What happened to my old Daddy?
Now my parents are the other way round, I somehow prefer my Mom over my Dad. Amazing right? My Dad somehow prefers to shoot his anger at me and love my brother more. Even if he buys things for me or somehow dotes me now, I'm still very suspicious and I don't really trust him much anymore. And I'm not the only one having having the problem.
Some of my friends are having the same problem too. Like all of the sudden, their dads have turned into some greedy, fierce, unreasonable... Son of a bitch. Okay, I don't wanna say that to my dad cause' I'll be scolding my grandma instead, so I'll say, my dad is turning to a (in the kid's way) monster (in the teen's way) and a guai lan kia. I know, I know, I can't forget the sweet things my dad used to do for me, but neither am I gonna forget the way treats me now, I mean the BAD ways. If he thinks buying me soft cake in a box and being all sweet and quiet all of a sudden again makes me forget about what he did a second before, well, I'm terribly sorry but I wasn't born yesterday. I don't give a damn about what happened to you today, cause' it ain't a great day for me either, but do you see me coming up to you and cry about it? I just said nicely, I have a giant blister at the back of my foot and you throw your temper at me? What? Is this some kind of " Parent turns into kid " act? Ya' think I wanna have this damn blister on my foot that is bigger than the size of my thumb? Please, who's the victim here? And seriously, I don't bloody care whether you weren't able to throw your temper any part of your life before but I am sure, you did it when you're a baby, and face it, after you're grown up, you can't expect anything else easy for you. I know you understand that better than I do. So please, be a MAN and stop this crap. If you think getting angry is being a MAN, then I'm sorry, you're gay, worse than that. There's nothing wrong being gay but I'm just sayin', I rather you sit down and talk to me about it. Like if you have problems at work or something. I know I know, " How can I possibly tell you this kind of things? You can't understand. " Hello? I'm 14 but I don't speak a foreign language. I understand English and Chinese and I bet you can speak that better than I can listen. So please, again, just talk. No matter what, as long as you say it out a little, though it can't help to fix the whole situation, but you'll at least feel a little better, and that saves alot of time, anger management and screaming into ears.
Anyways, my main point is I miss my old Dad. The one that used to be there for me whenever I had problems. The one that makes the best dishes in the world. The one that dotes on me EQUALLY as he dotes on my brother (This was just for a short period of time though :x). And finally, the one that I look up to for managing everything so well and coping with his emotions. But now, seems like the last one is greatest disappointment. Anyways, that's all I wanted to say. Need to get ready for 2moro. Bye.
Some of my friends are having the same problem too. Like all of the sudden, their dads have turned into some greedy, fierce, unreasonable... Son of a bitch. Okay, I don't wanna say that to my dad cause' I'll be scolding my grandma instead, so I'll say, my dad is turning to a (in the kid's way) monster (in the teen's way) and a guai lan kia. I know, I know, I can't forget the sweet things my dad used to do for me, but neither am I gonna forget the way treats me now, I mean the BAD ways. If he thinks buying me soft cake in a box and being all sweet and quiet all of a sudden again makes me forget about what he did a second before, well, I'm terribly sorry but I wasn't born yesterday. I don't give a damn about what happened to you today, cause' it ain't a great day for me either, but do you see me coming up to you and cry about it? I just said nicely, I have a giant blister at the back of my foot and you throw your temper at me? What? Is this some kind of " Parent turns into kid " act? Ya' think I wanna have this damn blister on my foot that is bigger than the size of my thumb? Please, who's the victim here? And seriously, I don't bloody care whether you weren't able to throw your temper any part of your life before but I am sure, you did it when you're a baby, and face it, after you're grown up, you can't expect anything else easy for you. I know you understand that better than I do. So please, be a MAN and stop this crap. If you think getting angry is being a MAN, then I'm sorry, you're gay, worse than that. There's nothing wrong being gay but I'm just sayin', I rather you sit down and talk to me about it. Like if you have problems at work or something. I know I know, " How can I possibly tell you this kind of things? You can't understand. " Hello? I'm 14 but I don't speak a foreign language. I understand English and Chinese and I bet you can speak that better than I can listen. So please, again, just talk. No matter what, as long as you say it out a little, though it can't help to fix the whole situation, but you'll at least feel a little better, and that saves alot of time, anger management and screaming into ears.
Anyways, my main point is I miss my old Dad. The one that used to be there for me whenever I had problems. The one that makes the best dishes in the world. The one that dotes on me EQUALLY as he dotes on my brother (This was just for a short period of time though :x). And finally, the one that I look up to for managing everything so well and coping with his emotions. But now, seems like the last one is greatest disappointment. Anyways, that's all I wanted to say. Need to get ready for 2moro. Bye.
Friday, 18 June 2010
Back with Random Pictures! ;DDD
I'm FINALLY BLOGGING, PEOPLE! Life's better nowadays, and I've been alot more busy. Still, I had lots of fun with E506 and N410! And also my 2 sugarbabes, Kurtrina and Samantha! Sorry I can't spend much time with you guys, but when school reopens, everything's gonna be back in place. =) Anyways, just wanna post something for fun. Nothing much to say. So anyways, need to sleep early tonight. Tomorrow's gonna be a long day. =) GOODNIGHTS !
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